It’s official. The NHS are no longer in the business of making ill people better. Of course it’s been growing steadily clearer that it wasn’t in a sustainable position. The latest walk out courtesy of the beleaguered junior doctors was obviously the last straw. It’s time and past for an almighty shake up though, it just so happens that the National Health Service is going to be leading the charge.
For all of you out there who have become panicked by my opening gambit please don’t be too concerned. It’s going to be absolutely fine, there will still be people who’ll kiss away the owies and pop that healing plaster on your knee. Every single British institution is going to keep plugging away but start rolling out completely different services in the hope that beginner’s luck will see them through until they gain some sort of idea as to what they’re supposed to be doing.
This is why we’re lucky that most of these organisations are primarily known by their initials. It makes altering the core of their very beings that much simpler. So some have been tasked with finding fitting new things to call them and others are just ploughing forward with the first thing that sprang to mind. It’s plain and simple marketing, I would have thought you’d have caught onto this by now.
For reasons best known to them, the NHS is now going to be tasked with all things health and safety. I suppose viewing so very many episodes of Casualty has given them something of a sixth sense for potentially hazardous situations. At the very top of the agenda is tumble dryer fires, obviously. They’re a menace on this nation and so far tragically little has been done about it. Don’t even start thinking that you might be able to separate the people from their beloved tumble dryers, that’s just not going to happen. They’ll have to find another way.