Fury Over Tory Battle to Protect Top Private School

What, you didn’t see it coming? You thought that the Tories would be overcome with a sudden bout of socialist conscience and start thinking about the education of the children belonging to people without a simply inordinate amount of money? You unconventional of you. Really, it’s rather refreshing to hear such sensibilities aired. It makes me feel terribly jaded by comparison.

So there’s this private school. It’s been around for a very long time indeed and you may or may not have heard of it. Just in case it happens to have escaped your consciousness I won’t bother to mention the name in question because why does it deserve the oxygen of publicity? They don’t need my help at any rate. The private school in question has been ever so slightly endangered by recent world events. You know the ones.

But there’s absolutely no need to panic. There’s rarely much of a reason to properly get one’s knickers in a twist because things are really pretty relaxed in this very sedate world. In this particular instance the reason why you shouldn’t be worried is that help is very close at hand. Top ranking members within the higher echelons of the Conservative party are poised to swing into the fray and save us all from the impending peril. And of course by all I meant those who could pay for the aid and are therefore deserving of a helping hand.

They’re pulling out all the stops to save the school. Obviously in real world terms that loosely translates to writing out several eye wateringly large cheques. However, people have whipped themselves up into something of a furore over this help. You know, because there are nine or twelve thousand more pressing needs and deserving causes that would benefit more from a cash influx. Like my sudden desire to own all the most well known works of art of the past millennia.

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