Exams Move Sends Shockwaves Through UN

The very notion that the sanctity of our good old fashioned British exams system is being violated is yet another crystal clear sign of the political correctness culture running riot over our lives and values. I mean come on, if the young people are really going to insist on following the fasting rules of their religion then they must be made to suffer the consequences. It’s only fair.

In this country all of our religious festivals revolve around the consumption of food, not the denial of it and it’s precisely the way worship should be. Yes, there’s lent but that’s only for sanctimonious people to harp on about how well they’re getting on without their coffee/chocolate/cigarettes/compulsion to watch videos depicting ritualised slaughter of tiny infants. It just doesn’t really count. Other religions do things differently but why should we be made to care about them?

How dare people even contemplate the very notion of thoughtful changes in order to allow students to take their exams early or at a time ever so slightly more convenient for their fasting habits? They’ve made the independent decision to starve themselves and if the crucial exams they’ve spent their lives preparing for suffer because of it then so be it. I’ve definitely heard it said somewhere that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

The UN in particular is outraged and has promised to invade our little island if these plans go through. We must be made to see sense and clearly no one else is going to do it. I think, I’m not entirely sure but I think, that the UN might recently have been infiltrated by someone. Someone with very strong opinions on these sorts of matters. Who has a stupid screwed up face and a mop of hair closely resembling a hair sprayed bin lid. Can’t remember his name though.

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