Stamp Duty Challenges Cameron to Annual TV Debate

The leaders of the parties in opposition had a very difficult time indeed in pinning Mr Cameron down when it comes to a televised debate. He didn’t want to take the hour or so out of his busy schedule in order to have something of a smack down with his political colleagues. Or something of that magnitude. We’re not particularly sure what happened over the course of the election. It worked out for him anyway and whatnot.

But when it comes to a national institution, it’s a hell of a lot easier to get him in a large room in front of a microphone. Not that stamp duty is remotely beloved in any way but you know very well how we British are bears when it comes to property and all that razzle dazzle. Stamp duty is something of a niggly and uncomfortable ache in the genital region but its proximity to buying houses makes it a lot more tolerable.

Anyway, ever since it became sentient stamp duty has grown ever more needy when it comes to getting attention (don’t ask what happened, it’s a thrilling and fantastic tale but it’s very much for another day. Don’t look so disappointed, you very much need to earn this and I’m pretty certain you’re not especially prepared). It’s decided that it wants to go to Disneyland and the moon. And have a pet bee.

But the one demand that it refuses to be distracted from is this debate with David Cameron. With the best will in the world, I’m not sure that stamp duty has the best handle on what a TV debate involves. It point blank won’t tell anyone what’s up for discussion. Mainly because it thinks it’ll be able to wrong foot Cameron that much more easily and look like a total winner. There is no downside to this plan.

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