Cameron Dossier to Force Families to go Hunrgy

Well, there hasn’t been a remake of A Christmas Carol this year. For once. And so dear old Dave is terribly worried that people will forget the true importance of Scrooge. Without the penny pinching business acumen of the protagonist, there would surely have never been any story in the first place. Sure, towards the end Ebenezer loses his way just a little and start blowing his empire away on fripperies like celebratory geese but no tale is perfect.

So our Prime Minister has taken it upon himself to keep people aware of the good old Victorian values of a Dickensian Christmas. You know the type, full of misery and the out bout of consumption while people are trying to eke the very most they can out of a thoroughly job. He can’t make everyone feel the sting of such measures of course. This would be to hurl himself over the line into the realms of dictatorship and he simply doesn’t have the spine for that. He’s definitely got some colleagues who do so future Tory governments might be interesting. If you go by the Serenity definition of the word though.

He’s brought in just one or two pieces of dickwad (official policy term for it, not my own words) legislation decreeing various bits and bobs painstakingly designed to target one or two unfortunate souls. Then those particular families will be especially filled with anti-cheer and festive misery. And then rest of the country can thank their lucky stars they can afford presents at all and have money left over for the unimportant items like some form of roasted meat. And stuffing. And pigs in blankets (seriously, if this was Just a Minute I would be on one hell of a roll here as Christmas food is something of a forte of mine).

So take a moment this festive period to remember those worse off than yourself but don’t you dare give them anything because they definitely don’t deserve it.


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