Green Light For Tornados

Everybody loves weather. Especially the British. This is a well recorded fact that is utterly indisputable. One thing that other countries may not be entirely aware of and probably need to look out for is that we’re desperately jealous. No overseas publication is going to be remotely interested in the fact that it’s a bit gusty in Hull or that it’s rather more drizzly in Basingstoke than you’d expect for this time of year.

In foreign climes the weather can be downright apocalyptic. Monsoons and tidal waves and earthquakes. Sure, they leave rather a lot of destruction in their wake. However, when the green eyed monster gets going it’s terribly difficult to remember all the death and shattered buildings and dreams. All you can think about is the gripping tale that may one day lead to one hell of a tearjerking film.

So we’ve taken something of an enterprising step to deal with this problem. Rather than sitting around and complaining about the sheer unfairness of it all we’re going to initiate some change for a… difference. We’ve petitioned those who are actually in charge of the weather. You know, the folk who happily sit atop Mount Olympus and hurl thunderbolts towards unsuspecting mortals whenever they feel like it. Tornados, it’s going to have to be tornados.

Tremors and such would take far too much rejigging of the tectonic plates so odds are the price to make it so would be far too dear. Tidal waves might work but there’s always the chance that our wee island might slip beneath those waves and become a slightly soggier Atlantis. A volcano suddenly popping up in the Cotswolds or the home counties would make everything really rather exciting but might raise one or two hundred questions too many. Tornados are clearly the way forward in this highly exciting endeavour. Strap in.

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