Everyone hates advertising. No matter how well-meaning or entertainingly couched it is, it’s annoying. When I’m listening to a podcast I don’t want to hear about how easily I can sign up for a free audiobook or design my own website (which I will probably do in my own good time thank you very much). Pop ups are cancelled at breakneck speed, catchy jingles are skipped through and sandwich boards informing you of incredible deals are splintered to smithereens. At least that’s what people want very much to do.
Obviously people need to make their money through the successful sale of their products. However, the scales have tipped much too far and people are thoroughly sick of the ad men and their tiresome ideas. Of course, every now and then a brilliant campaign comes along but odds are people will remember the advert itself but not the thing they were supposed to head out in their droves to buy.
No matter, soon frustrations such as these will be a relative thing of the past. We can’t outlaw advertising as a whole because how else would people know when the next Apple thing is out? But a healthy compromise has been reached I’m sure you will all be delighted to learn. Advertising in all its forms is to be banned before 9pm. This way impressionable youths won’t be so easily swayed to pick up the next bit of Frozen paraphernalia.
Because few organisations can be trusted to obey this decree, the pharmaceutical industry was appealed to for help. Their boffins managed to come up with a revolutionary medication. Taken every day with breakfast, the tablet in question will transmit ad blocking signals to the brain until it’s naturally broken down by the system by nine pm that evening. It’s a completely brilliant plan, swallow it.