70 MPH Storms to Oust Corbyn

The elemental wizards nominally though secretly in charge of matters on earth are really rather tired of being subtle. Sure, they’ll send along an earthquake every now and again to express their disapproval of all the gay people who insist on getting hitched but a disappointing proportion of folk pick up on their message. Perhaps they should have arranged for a more descriptive rock formation to tumble into the words they wanted to express.

Anyway, they’re done now with hoping for others to be that much quicker on the uptake. The slow burn of global warming isn’t exactly going to get anyone out there to realise that they’re after more sacrificial offerings of ancient scrolls and biscuits with a goodly covering of chocolate. It’s time to get a little more serious when it comes getting their point across.

What they’ve decided they definitely aren’t particularly big fans of is Labour under the leadership of Jeremy Corbyn. Don’t ask them why, it’s just something of an instinct or a gut feeling that he’s simply no good. Either that or it’s been rather a while since they did something spectacular and they feel like shaking things up just a tad. Everyone remembers the eruption of the volcano Vesuvius that swallowed Pompeii and Herculaneum. Wouldn’t a natural disaster as impressive as that be something worth writing home about?

So they’re stepping things up to see if they can try and shuffle the man out of his position of power. It all begins with just a few scattered showers to get the attention of the British. Then it ramps up to biblical levels of downpour, thunder, lightning, the whole nine yards. After which the winds will come to blast and batter our tiny island nation until we expel the current leader of the Labour party from it. If we refuse then just imagine the plagues that will come.


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