Sex Cover-Up As MPs Defy Corbyn

There really isn’t enough coverage of the orgies in politics. Oh, don’t give me that. You know there’s got to be a little bit more going on than actually meets the eye. People can hardly want to get into politics because they want to do something within the realms of public good. Or even for the sake of regular sharp pay rises or anything related to the accumulation of power.

No, quite clearly there are underground sex rings and unbridled toga parties and swingers abound within the corridors of government. Not that I’d know anything about such depravity. Of course not. It’s like fight club, getting involved with such an enterprise means that not only do you refuse to disclose what’s actually going on but you also get an incredible high from engaging with activities you definitely shouldn’t do. And also keeping it secret from everyone around you.

Obviously there’s going to be the odd slip up. That lord who got caught snorting coke off a stripper whilst wearing a bra. Nothing but a sacrificial lamb to keep the bloodhounds of the press off the scent of the real story which was too scandalously delicious for them to be allowed to get their hands on it. So once again a leak of some variety has reached a particularly vigorous investigative reporter who must be distracted.

However, Jeremy Corbyn definitely isn’t down with this progression. He’s tired of the lies and deceit. He’d rather settle down with his seven lovers and more besides. Why do they all have to hide the truth so fastidiously from the public. True, they’re British but this is the twenty first century for heaven’s sake. If a man wants to indulge in vast orgies, possibly involving some ever so slightly drugged up animals, then that’s his business and his alone and can everyone else please just go away?

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