Labour Torn Over Arthritis

Well it’s very difficult to act as a cohesive political unit when you’re worried about creaky joints and you’re feeling the pain in your very finger bones. That’s their well-polished excuse that they’re very definitely sticking to thank you ever so much. Their feet hurt and that’s precisely why they can’t get any proper work done.

This sudden mood of crippling indecision certainly has absolutely nothing to do with the gossamer web of intrigue and difficult situations holding an increasingly fragile image of peace together. They’re absolutely not trying to sidestep some sticky issues and are really quite offended that you would think that about them. In fact, they’re off to write a letter of complaint about their trampled feelings. This has to take precedence over the whole issue of whether or not we have to go to war with the naughty men stirring up trouble in foreign climes.

It’s all about the troubles that are going on at our own front door. How can we possibly concern ourselves with the plight of millions of refugees in the Middle East when we’ve got something as serious as a vague hip ache going on? A stubbed pinkie toe is obviously a lot more worrisome than any number of explosions going off over there. Unless there are British nationals involved of course. All we see is aftermath on the news and that basically makes it like an action film. Chuck in an orchestra and a plucky protagonist and you’ve got your next blockbuster franchise.

After all, it’s hardly as if there’s anything we’ll be able to do. Sure, we could send over food packages or more guns but will any of those really do much to improve the situation? Especially if there isn’t a fat pay incentive for us. Really, let’s ignore it all until it goes away by having a cup of tea and seeing if there’s anything interesting on telly.

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