May Forced to Backtrack Over Holiday Jet

It’s totally not what it looks like. People have jumped to all manner of crazy conclusions and it’s throwing the whole entire situation out of whack. Whilst everyone’s climbing over themselves to try and reassure everyone that the insane rumours aren’t true what’s actually going on is getting rather more obscured that I’m sure people were initially intending.

Theresa May definitely didn’t commission a private jet with taxpayer money in order to make it easier for her to fly away to distant corners of the globe. The intention was absolutely not that it would make it that much easier for her to get away from it all without having to face the danger of having to mix with the general public. It’s such an outlandish and crazy idea. I have no clue whatsoever where you got it from.

So while we’ve firmly established what the holiday jet wasn’t for I’m sure you’re wondering why everyone’s talking about it. I mean, jets don’t just appear from nowhere to grab attention in the headlines. Someone somewhere spotted the jet and decided that the sighting was worth discussing with another and from there it just snowballed. I’m sure it would clear everything up if the entirely innocent reason behind it were to come to light. All the uncertain people would definitely feel a lot better about the situation. Or maybe I’m just making stuff up at this point.

May thought it would be a wonderful idea to try and get the kids believing in the benevolence of Father Christmas once again. She would set out with a crack team of happy helpers delivering thoughtful presents at strategic sites. However, people will misinterpret even the most well meaning of intentions. So the plane had to go back from the vendor and the gifts scrapped and pulped because if the disadvantaged children weren’t going to get them then no one could have them.

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