EX-MP: I’m the Latest Victim of Case for Legalising Drugs

The potheads have taken something of a radical turn in their campaign. They are no longer trying to spread the word of the benefits of various currently illicit substances. You can list a hundred reasons why marijuana is the bee’s knees and they won’t so much as bat an eyelid. Nor are they comparing the relative toxicity and addictiveness of banned compounds in relation to their socially acceptable friends.

No, all that malarkey’s old hat nowadays. Matters have progressed into an entirely different arena. Instead of making the benefits as plain as possible for all to see they’ve given up on that tactic. It was never going to work as prejudices run very deep indeed. Rather than playing nice they’re going over to the dark side. Where they have seventy per cent cocoa solids and war paint in abundance.

The word they’re now focused on getting out is precisely how much life sucks. I mean really seriously terrible and awful. Life is a long hard slog that you are definitely going to need drugs to get through. The housing market’s a mess, education costs a lot more than you’re realistically ever going to be able to pay back, ninety nine point nine per cent of jobs are unfulfilling and ultimately pointless, the ones you actually want require experience you can’t get and no one in their right mind fancies you. And the MPs are all rubbish and the lobbyist won’t let up about it.

Sorry to start spinning truth right at your face but somebody had to get real with you. You can’t swan through your whole life believing that the reasons for your utter and complete failure are down to anyone but you. Go ahead, give into the urge to buckle and crumble under the pressure and dive into a hearty stack of crack fritters. Or go skunk bobbing. No, that sounds rather dodgy. Stick with a good old fashioned bowl of blow.

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