Wind Power Now Refuses to Meet the Queen

Oh that treasonous monster of disrespect. Should you be lucky enough to be presented with the opportunity to be so much as in the same room as her majesty it is your duty to move heaven and earth to make sure you can attend. There’s every chance you might even be permitted to kiss her hand and get some of her incredible luck to rub off on you.

Who knows what kind of magic will weave itself into being? The day after your glorious encounter you could wake up and find yourself transformed into the head of your very own outdated hereditary institution that will cause strangers in the street to feel compelled to kneel before your magnificent excellence. But only if you really believe.

But wind power thinks that it’s better than all of that. It’s above the fripperies of kings and courts. To be fair, some rather grandiose things have been put about regarding the awesome power of wind (oh don’t be so childish, I was aiming to save the fart references for later and now you’ve gone and simply spoiled absolutely everything).

Wind power is the future, it’s mighty and incredible. Forget the dependence on the old dinosaur fuels of yesteryear. We no longer have to depend on the ominous nuclear menace to keep the lights on. No, all we need to do is to harness the awesome potential of nature itself. So let the skies tremble and the mountains shake and the seas tumble in that wonderfully hydroelectrically potentious way they do. Because wind is the way to get things done.

So it’s not all that surprising that her royal highness wants to get a slice of the action. However, it’s even less of a stunner that wind power is not especially in the mood to bow and scrape. It’s got better things to do with its time like hang out with Jeremy Corbyn and discuss revolutionary ideals.


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