Secret Plot to Oust Middle Class

We all knew this was coming. Perhaps if we weren’t entirely completely sure there must have been at least some small scrap of inkling. There had to have been a niggling suspicion somewhere at the very back of your mind that this sort of thing was on the horizon down the line. Or maybe you’re an altogether far too trusting simpleton who never especially looks to the future.

Anyway, the working class isn’t quite what it used to be. The proportion of blue collar jobs is dwindling or whatever and people are feeling themselves to be distinctly under threat. Rather than galvanising the nation and bringing about another glorious industrial revolution they’ve decided to turn to the dark side.

No more nice subservient proletariat. They’re turning to outright rebellion in order to bring down the middle classes who’ve lorded it over them with their extravagant ways for simply far too long. Now I’m not entirely sure the precise details of their plot because it’s been subjected to seven degrees of classification (and as a hated outsider they’re hardly going to share clandestine details).

However, I have managed to skilfully winkle one or two choice titbits of gossip from the maw of the social hierarchical war machine. For example, they plan to kidnap government officials and make them look completely ridiculous by subjecting them to outdated rituals involving mysterious liquids and whatnot (you know the sort of thing I mean, they’ve been rather widely publicised of late but someone or other I can’t quite recall).

Then the real action will begin with tightly orchestrated social media campaigns to spread the message and even a very special hashtag or two. We’ll never know what hit us and before long we’ll be begging to enter the ranks of the newly vitalised glorious alternative classes. You really don’t want to know what the alternatives will be.

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