Virgin Births Encouraged Street Riots

Technology is straight up ruining the planet. What with Google brain implants and sentient cars, we’re becoming rapidly obsolete. When the robots rise to power do you really think they’ll be satisfied with the current status quo? But enough about the nightmarish future we’re absolutely heading for that there’s really absolutely nothing whatsoever we can do about. If we just don’t think about it then there’s a distinct chance it will all go away.

Men get threatened by weird things. You tell a man that he’s no longer required when it comes to stereotypically male activities such as sports or making a baby then he’s going to throw something of an almighty hissy fit. The whole works: tearing at their hair, beating the floor, pouring forth buckets of tears and shrieks until they realise the unmanliness of their current actions. That’s when the ever so slightly more aggressive behaviour begins to occur.

So it really shouldn’t have come to many as that much of a surprise that riots started to go down when the news got out about virgin births. A select group of women decided that they wanted babies without the messy part which is why they wanted to cut out the man soaked portion. Sperm can be easily obtained from your local sperm bank or indeed certain public toilets but the quality may not be entirely guaranteed from those less reputable sources.

However, the men found out that women had started making babies without them. They’d never even tried them out and already they were opting for solutions that excluded them. Hurt and disillusioned by the opposite gender they turned to shopping as some form of solace. Then they realise that shopping sprees tend to be reserved for lady problems and whatnot. So smashing began and rioting was a quick hop, step and a jump away from there. And it’s all the fault of virgins.

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