Support Soars to Use Drugs to Get Drugs Into Prison

A prison without drugs is like a sandwich without a filling, dry and disappointing. Or maybe I’m just thinking about lunch. The point is, entrepreneurial spirits who happen to be behind bars are always going to be interested in developing new ways of getting their fellow inmates what they want in the most economical fashion possible.

Asking someone to stuff a bulging condom up a particular orifice into which the sun does not shine is quite a big deal. They’re immediately running various risks that can well lead to them being ripped to shreds by coke fiend canines. And should they survive they’ll want a substantial cut of the money made which is always going to eat into profits.

Occasionally an innovator is going to try and remove the human element almost completely. Strap a bag of smack to a pigeon’s beak and watch that sucker fly. Give a mole a belt studded with shrooms and try and persuade him to dig through solid concrete. If you’re feeling especially ambitious you can have a hearty crack at teaching a chameleon the ancient art of teleportation. Or give him an Invisibility Cloak and see if he can smuggle his stash to the incarcerated.

Drones, as in so many walks of life, are very much the way forward in this instance. A drone isn’t going to sample the product as it glides gracefully towards the prison yard. It’s not going to get flustered at customs by moustachioed officers who insist on search its nooks. Cold heartless machines are what we need to be happy in life and everyone is very much in favour of this plan.

Of course this is the first act that leads to the devastation of civilisation as robots take over as many of our jobs as possible before the uprising that leads them to enslave the humans. We’ve seen it happen before.

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