Poor Diet More Lethal Than Gun Control Crisis

It’s all relative isn’t it? I bet that when you examine the statistics in mind numbing detail all manner of fascinating patterns will emerge. You’ll discover that more people die in spoon fights than from industrial accidents (you drop your guard for so much as a second and you find a violent ragamuffin scooping out your eyes. It definitely happens). That guns haven’t wiped out half so many people as ickle fluffy bunny rabbits (allergies really are getting out of hand).

You have to be careful when making grand sweeping statements that you’re adding in enough qualifiers. It’s all well and good to claim that cheeseburgers have slaughtered more people than cigarettes, high powered machine rifles and the black plague combined but someone somewhere will demand that you back your assertion up with evidence. Take any individual half hour over the course of the previous decade and you could well be telling the truth.

Anyway, the nutritionists have started up the battle cry once more. If we don’t change our fatty ways, cramming our gullets with sweets, fried food and fizzy drinks, things will no doubt end badly. We’ll find ourselves in a world where the fate of the human race in Wall-E is a charming throwback from the days of yore. Spherical toddlers will succumb to heart attacks and people will regard vegetables as more dangerous than live grenades. It could totally happen.

Forget the escalation of knife combat. Bioterrorism has nothing on this. The fact that Americans can stop off at the supermarket for rocket launchers is unimportant. It’s diet that is the main issue of the day. Remove the sweets and chocolate. The wine isn’t doing you any favours (no matter how many scientific studies you can almost quote to the contrary). Subsist on supergrains and anything that’s green. It’s the only route to happiness. Well, survival.

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