Unions Threaten New Boat Horror

Unions are just big bullies. Swaggering around the playground in a manner altogether far too big for their britches they terrorise the poor innocent government. I’m pretty sure that’s the company line Thatcher and those of her ilk spouted. Sure, the only time we’re aware of them is when they choose to strike and cast all around them into disarray but they can’t be all that bad surely?

This is at least what I thought until I heard the latest news this morning. Now unions are always threatening this or that. Every now and then they follow through on whatever was promised just to show they really do mean business. Nine times out of ten it would seem that the strike is called off but once in a while the threat is simply too horrible to contemplate.

They’re giving out boats. Have you ever heard of anything so terrible? That’s right, boats. In one form or another, every single person in this country is going to receive a boat. I’m sure you don’t think this sounds too bad. You might even quite like a boat to fulfil your fantasies of cruising down a river with the wind in your hair, waving at passing ducks and the like.

As is often the case with proposals of this nature, the devil is in the detail. They didn’t specify precisely which boats they’d be giving away. Now some may be massive yachts. Odds are they’ll go to the people who either already have slightly more sizeable yachts or those who’ll never have sufficient storage for a big ass boat.

Others will be plagued with phone calls asking for insurance deposits on their boats or to turn up at remote locations at disagreeable times to pick up said vessels. Or they’ll be sent an impressive picture and surrender to crushing disappointment at the arrival of a tiny replica. There is chaos to be wrought and the only way to stop it is to give the unions whatever they want. If you don’t then who knows how creative they’ll get in their punishments?


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