EU Wants ‘Green Cards’ for Alzheimer’s

So the bombshell dropped today that Alzheimer’s has been guilty of rampant migration and we never even knew. It’s been hopping willy nilly from brain to brain with nary a regard for the current population statistics. It’s readily apparent that actions have to be taken very quickly if we’re to even have a hope of regulating the situation.

You can’t stop a disease from trying to spread. That’s basically their bread and butter, birds got to fly, fish have to swim and illnesses have no choice but to propagate through various methods of transmission. At least this appears to be one of the ones where you have to get up close and personal with someone else’s bodily fluids rather than that irritatingly common getting sneezed on nonsense.

Anyhow, when a doctor first makes the devastating diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease he’s now got fresh reams of paperwork to fill in. Then after months of navigating red tape and legal quandaries the exciting envelope will come through in the post. This will hold the sainted green card for the personal space invader in your head.

Now the Alzheimer’s will be permitted to skip about in the crazed landscape of the mind. Every time someone interacts with your spinal fluid or whatever (I may have only briefly skimmed the headlines. I’m not completely sure how Alzheimer’s is managing to make the jump between victims. Maybe it’s like in Inception or something) said card will have to be stamped. I’m not sure that this will actually accomplish anything but one cannot underestimate the power of the bureaucratic placebo.

Of course there’s every possibility that this is in fact a sinister plot on the part of various governments designed to bring down the overcrowding crisis through the devilish employment of neurodegeneration. However, you might have thought that if they’d chosen to go down the bioterrorism route they could have employed a slightly swifter acting agent. Like Ebola. Just a thought.


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