MPs are Stuck in Dead-end Trainee Schemes

Poor MPs. I think we should all take a hearty moment or two to pity them. Think about it. Quite obviously the only reason they ever dared to embark on a career in politics was to become top dog. Why on earth would anyone dream of entering public service if there wasn’t even the slimmest chance of them becoming the person at the apex of the pyramid?

However, given the nature of the job there can only be one. And then there are people who have the cheek to stick around for more than one term. Surely someone’s mother should have sorted things out so that the children would have to share as that’s the fairest situation all round? David Cameron has well and truly had his turn so now someone had a crack at the job.

Nevertheless, many members of parliament are sufficiently well adjusted that they’ve been able to come to accept the fact that they won’t be at the helm of the country any time soon. So, miserably, they cast around for some other way to fill their days. The simple role of MP won’t be enough of course, constituents are terribly dull and attending to their needs is soul crushing.

Some tried hobbies but there are only so many bobble hats you can produce before the mania descends. Others thought it might be an idea to do something constructive like learning a foreign language but there was the ever present danger of having to mix with the common people.

That was how, out of sheer desperation, they were fooled into thinking an apprenticeship was the way out. Now they’re stuck in dead-end training schemes that will never lead to anything remotely fruitful and they’re just a little bit screwed in terms of career prospects. Sorry, not MPs, teenagers. I do tend to get those mixed up for some impenetrable reason.


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