Chilcot Report Will Widen Women-Only Carriages

It’s quite hard to figure out the most problematic part of this story. Remind me again why train carriages suddenly require segregation? So if you happen as a lady traveller-ess to be journeying with a boy and you want to sit together you’re either forced to part in the name of safety or be exposed to the lascivious and untoward ways of other men? It’s hard to see the logic.

But the Chilcot enquiry, having solved that messy going to war on a false prospectus business, seeks to do more good in modern life. They’re just not going about it quite the right way. It was noticed that there was something of a furore going down over the whole gender divided carriages so Chilcot immediately set to work on ideas to right matters.

Of course, what’s the very best way to make sure that the ladies are more comfortable? No, don’t make any improvements whatsoever to the toilets or seat materials. Just make the aisles wider. They’ll be so much more at ease with that little extra space to relax in. It certainly won’t be perceived as a dig at how they could do with losing some weight.

Anyway, it’s happening so deal with it. At least it’ll make the women-only carriages that little bit easier to identify from the outside. Well, that will be the case if they don’t go in for spray painting them in hot pink and coating them in glitter. That’s definitely the sort of décor women prefer above all else.

Women are different. They require careful handling lest you damage their dainty souls. Separate them away from the world so there’s no chance of damaging them or offending their sensibilities. Don’t even let them out of the house as this will render the whole train debate irrelevant.


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