Half of Britain’s Graduates to Get E-cigs on Prescription

Ah, electronic cigarettes. They’ve made smoking one hundred per cent acceptable again. Yes, you’re probably not shredding your lungs to pieces with all the tar so they’re not quite as sexy as the originals. On the other hand, no one can be entirely sure of the long term consequences of using them so they do manage to retain some level of sultry allure.

Graduates are generally boned. I was one not too long ago and now I’m in work. It’s a capitalist fairy tale (I won’t use this public forum to air any grievances I may or may not have regarding my workplace because even I have a sense of discretion. Possibly. Come back for the juicy stuff later). Unfortunately, people do struggle to find meaningful work they enjoy and even a degree isn’t a guarantee (I should totally write for a broadsheet newspaper, I’m so well informed).

So the government are looking for essentially meaningless empty gestures to mollify the students. They’re already pissed over hikes in tuition fees so they’re going to have to dig pretty deep down in order to pacify them. How about rolling out e-cigs? People on a several pack a day habit may be able to cut costs. Non-smokers can take up the practice as a way to fill the desperate hours in between frantic job seeking.

And those who have graduated from the scientific disciplines will find many a reason for celebration. Finally there will be a massive trial in the effects of e-cigarettes so we can finally see what happens to the people who use them. Sure, it might show that they’re cancerific time bombs but that will just bring about a reduction in dissent against the current government. This plan has no downside, it’s completely brilliant. Plus it gives the NHS something to do and that’s something we should all be delighted about.

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