Veterans Hail our Brink of Crisis

Veterans are never happier than when all manner of shit is hitting a variety of high powered fans. That’s when they get to leap into glorious multi-coloured action and save the day. Because they’ve prepared for this. Every single moment in their lives has led up to them being able to leap in and rescue us from ridiculous predicaments.

For a while things were proving altogether far too quiet for the former soldiers. Where’s the hustle and bustle of life at war? Why are they sadly lacking in the thrill of regular combat? You just don’t feel alive without the constant threat of gunfire. Yes there is an apocalyptic number of problems currently going down in this world of ours.

However, there’s not a huge amount they can do about the eurozone crisis (I recently learned about currency controls and other high powered economic things and I’m so much more confused than ever before), deforestation and the publication of yet another E. L. James novel. These are complicated issues far beyond their powers of aid.

Rather than giving up and going home there are far more important things to be getting on with. You have to hold on to that tiny grain of hope. You have to realise that circumstances really can get so very much worse. Economies can collapse further and civilisations can crumble into dust. You know, if you’re very lucky indeed.

Once the end of days hits that’s when the skills of the veterans come into play. They can organise the huddled remains of humanity, mastermind the resistance against the onslaught of zombies and whatnot (yeah, I couldn’t come up with a third thing). So they’re very much looking forward to the arrival of the four horsemen of the… I want to say catastrophe? I’m not sure but the veterans are really into it, ask them.

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