Revealed: True Price of Vision for Labour

We’ve already established that were Labour to return to its leftist principles then it becomes an unelectable force for splintering the country into a thousand pieces crammed to the rafters with illegal immigrants. I’m pretty sure that’s in line with the current dogma kindly foisted upon us by the media.

Having vague socialist leanings and a general inclination towards social justice clearly doesn’t cut the mustard any more. Not politically at any rate. High ranking public officials can foster all the unpopular views they like at home provided they never allow them to see the light of day.

You have to cater to as many of the objectionable masses as possibly in order to ensure you have the backing to not only seize power but also to hang onto it. It’s only their filthy votes you need, not their hearts or minds. Promise them the moon and then hand over a paper cut out in the aftermath of the election. Or something. I may have abandoned my initial train of thought and gone over to the angry dark side. I appear to have damaged my brand, there goes my public reputation.

Essentially, what on earth can Labour do to rally? Being smashed in elections one after the other does more than a little to batter one’s self confidence. You can get the students on board by promising to reduce tuition fees and gunge the Lib Dems who lied (because they’ve managed to secure all the blame while the Tories walk away scot free. Now that is the very definition of savvy political spin).

You can make all manner of enticing plans where migrants will be cut up for winter fuel and the BBC and NHS will not only be unmolested by big business but also come in one time and under budget like the spanking new train system you’ll bring in. The true price? Everyone will notice the spontaneous combustion of your undercarriage.

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