New Poll Has Corbyn Covered in Blood

People really seem to genuinely have it out for this guy. The fact that various people seem to have such concerted hatred for Jeremy Corbyn is quite telling. Or not and people just like having someone to aim their bile at. It’s hard to figure it out. We are something of an incredibly spiteful people but it’s not always that easy to see because we prefer to keep the hostility bottled up inside.

Anyway, because polls have a recent history of being supremely dead on various people have been referring to them with regards to the upcoming Labour leadership election. And things definitely do not look good for Corbyn. Yes, he’s on track for an unassailable victory because the rest have the collective personality of an especially bland tapioca pudding. However, people out there are sure to have an enthusiastic stab at retaliation.

A shot of rohypnol or whatever will come out of nowhere and a black hood will descend. He’ll find himself driven out into an anonymous business park in the back and beyond and a herd of goons will initiate the beating. Getting the living crap assaulted out of you is bound to take the savour off any recent victory. If they’re especially persuasive then a well placed warning will probably impair one’s left wing righteous zeal.

What precisely will happen to the blood spattered Corbyn? Will he slink off into the night never to be seen again? Or perhaps he’ll become a tepid puppet malleable to the whims of outside forces (you know the kind I mean. Might possibly rhyme with beg or leg if you catch my drift). Maybe the shock of all the savageness will provide an opportunity for a martyr to rise from the ashes. They will have loosed a monster they could never have predicted or had any hope whatsoever of combatting.


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