Now the police would never abuse their power. That’s never happened and no sum of money will cause such an event to occur. No it won’t. They’re an unimpeachable beacon of benevolence and delight and they’re definitely not forcing me to say so (they certainly didn’t clap eyes on what I originally wrote and hurried round forthwith to gently convince me to say somewhat nicer things about them).
We’re delving into the gentle world of the euphemism here. For one thing, the constabulary doesn’t exactly have the influence to doctor important financial records. Any trader, rogue or unauthorised or otherwise, wouldn’t be able to slip through the cracks of the official records. And even if they somehow managed it they’d definitely never be papered over afterwards.
It was really more of an elaborate game of hide and seek. A slightly socially abnormal man who happened to be a city trader by day decided he wanted to play a game. However, he thought that his instincts might just lead him astray. He’d never be able to locate the perfect hiding place and the thought of being found prematurely was severely ticking him off. What on earth could he do in order to give himself the edge he so clearly lacked in this sport of kings?
So he turned to the greatest force for good that he was aware of. His dear friend happened to be a policeman. Said copper was more than sympathetic to his contemporary’s plight. He pledged to do what he could to help. He recognised just how important this game was to his mate. That’s the only reason why he and his colleagues on the force dropped said trader down a well and boarded over the top. Honest. Definitely and absolutely no funny business going down in this particular situation.