Labour Must Back Business at Alton Towers

When two sinking ships unite, magical things can happen. It’s hardly as if Labour have the very best profile at the moment, it probably wouldn’t do them much harm to come out in support of the poor beleaguered theme park (they might in fact be more worried about what the support of that particular political party could do to their image).

Labour have become moderate Conservatives. A watered down version of what the slight right are just about managing to achieve in this current government (yeah, I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this. All you need to do is to strap in for the ride and try your very best not to fall asleep. Or if you do then please try not to drool, I’ve only just redone the upholstery).

They can go ahead and step back on over to the left with Corbyn. They can go with the most hilarious option and opt for Balls (I don’t actually know what any of his stances are on anything. He might come out with some excellent straight talking sense but given that he’s made it this far in life with such a name means much and more). Or one of the others because we’ve totally been paying attention to this race. There might actually be a woman in the mix. Probably.

Essentially, I advocated a lovely summer holiday not so long ago for the Labour party. I don’t think they’ve decided to take my thoroughly excellent advice. It might have been down to budget concerns or something or other. So they can have a mini sized jolly to Alton Towers. It won’t cost them anything much because no one particularly wants to go there because they might get squished between two roller coaster cars. They can get off their arses and pretend to be making a basic point about business while they’re actually having the time of their lives on the bumper cars.

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