Migrants Ruin Big Holiday Labour Race

Picking a new leader is tricky. Especially when you don’t really have all that much material to work with in the first place. I mean Corbyn’s probably sort of possibly the best bet if you want the party to return to its founding principles but these selfsame morals sadly make them an unelectable rabble of dreamers.

Don’t worry, the general political situation has been explained to me and this is the outcome I’m most down with. Perhaps the optimal route is for Labour to be effective opposition once more and point out everything illogical and wrong with what whoever’s in power is attempting to orchestrate. But all this hope for the future is very much besides the point. I’m afraid I’m going to have to apologise and try my very best indeed to get back onto the point in hand.

Yes, electing a head amongst yourself is highly stressful. It’s somewhat likelier than pretty much anything else to lead to infighting. After all, it’s so very much easier to point out someone else’s failings than it is to convince people to believe in you for your merits alone. So understandably such an effort ends in petty insults and character assassinations. Therefore an executive decision had to be made before the group ripped itself apart.

It was realised that if everyone was to have the slightest hope of getting alone they’d have to get away from it all. A holiday, one of those all inclusive types where you could really pig out and not worry about the financial consequences. They could stretch out languorously on the beach and get about as tanned as pasty English folk are like to get. Someone even had the genius idea of organising a light hearted race as something of a satire of the turmoil the leadership battle was causing. Then the migrants ruined it and everyone’s fun was crushed. Rubbish migrants.

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