Taxpayers Rushed Into Drink Epidemic

Oh come on, don’t deny that the recent budget hasn’t driven you to special measures. I’m not accusing you of anything. Have no fear, the state of affairs in this country would cause anyone to take up more regular drinking. There are injustices on all sides threatening you with untainted misery.

Not to harp on to overly about myself but I’m a taxpayer now so I’ve bought myself a right to complain. Honest, hardworking people like me (I know I’m taking it too far now but it’s raining so it feels only right to scale up the Dickensian woe) are boxed out of the housing market. Between rent and bills and taxes and that boat I have my eye on I’ll never be able to scrape together enough for a deposit.

The benefits cheats and the migrants and the people who simply don’t want to work are claiming far beyond their means. My pennies go into the governmental pot and I’ll never see them again. Because I don’t use roads or hospitals or the education system (which probably explains why I’m able to spout these views without the merest hint of irony.

At the other end of the scale, the millionaires and business types do everything they can to avoid stumping up their fair share. And they’ve somehow wangled it that the blokes in charge will happily hand over tax breaks and such. More than that, they’ve miraculously directed the spotlight away from themselves and onto types from the previous paragraph. They clearly have excellent PR.

I do believe that the thinking is thus: depress as many members of the general public as possible, make drink very cheap, people will naturally turn to it as the logical method of escape from reality. And then they’ll be stupefied and insensible to realise the other stuff that’s going on. Like selling off various public services and handing out lollies to generous party donors.

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