Sharp Rise in Love Cheat Brits

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that where there’s a will there’s away. It’s also widely known that quoting Austen is a pretty easy way to get your argument thrown out of the window before any consideration can be given to it. The internet is a beautiful tool for connectivity. And enabling you in your quest to never leave the house again thanks to the delivery of delicious pizza.

Then again, people have cheated before. You can find people at work (the less aesthetically blessed can always depend on the abuse of power if they haven’t got enough of a personality to persuade people to do it with them). Getting down with the young people in the clubs is supposed to lead to booty. Or so I’ve heard. Then there are always previous dalliances to be revisited.

However, the World Wide Web of wonderment possibly makes it easier than ever before. If questionable pop ups on my screen are to be believed, there are sexy singles in my area practically gagging for it (I swear, my browsing history is perfectly innocent. Of course, the fact that I’ve felt the need to state this means that absolutely no one will trust me on it). Type a quick email and a nubile underpants buddy will basically be delivered to your door. That’s how it works, right?

How can we fight this onslaught of naughtiness on the outside of a supposedly monogamous relationship? Can our partners ever be trusted again? Obviously they can. The lavish and astronomically expensive surveillance I’ve taken out proves it. If this isn’t an option open to you there are other ways to keep your other half in mind. Take away their internet and tie them to a post. They might not want to be with you any more after this but they won’t be able to be with anyone else either. Everybody wins.

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