£75K for School Inspections Farce

It’s incredibly important that we know that our schools are operating effectively. Left to their own devices, there’s absolutely no question that the situation would devolve into something of a revolution. Either the teachers would overthrow the students, chain them to their desks and set them to stitching knock off wallets or whatever handicraft would go for the highest price. On the other hand, the students might prevail and we all know what goes down there Lord of the Flies style.

In order to keep matters within some semblance of balance, it is of paramount importance for inspectors to swoop in every now and then so as to provide pupil and teacher alike with a common enemy. They understand that they must serve as a focal point for scholarly hatred. However, they’ve now taken things ever so slightly too far and now we don’t know what on earth to do.

Working whatever system we’re in to our own advantage is basically just human nature. Finding loopholes and chinks to exploit is merely part of the game. Skimming a little off the top is pretty much harmless. They totally expect you to do it and feeling bad about such behaviour really oughtn’t to enter the equation. Then again, there is such a thing as pushing such limits beyond what’s remotely reasonable.

For example, claiming £75,000 in expenses for a two day inspection is so laughable you’ll be shocked when I tell you that it went through without a single batted eyelid. Oh, it was made up of perfectly fine bogus items. Or at least it was mostly stuff that actually existed like massive crates of pencils and especially authoritative looking spectacles for maximum sternness. However, the kicker is that the inspected institution wasn’t completely real. The postcode provided were in fact some coordinates on Venus. Hence the space shuttle rental. And the very shiny astronaut suits.

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