In spite of all the buzz floating around courtesy of Game of Thrones dragons still get a bad rap in this day and age. Being a fire breathing monster with an overwhelming penchant for treasure is a domain that ought to have been completely handed over to the business elite by now. What relevance to dragons have to the modern age?
Their lairs have been relegated to dens and within them they languish, relics of a bygone era. But George wants to save them. Remould them into useful members of society again. With dragons on our side who would bother with the railways? When you can fly to work, your daily commute becomes a joy as you sail through the skies. Yes, you could well fall off and become fodder for another’s hungry steed but don’t you need some more excitement in your life?
A pay rise will tempt woebegone and beleaguered wyverns and basilisks out of hiding and back into the field of play. The potential uses for them are staggering when you really think about it. Power sources, chefs, livestock quality testers, jewel valuers, tour guides, the best damn security guards in the West, guide dragons for the blind. Thanks to the chancellor, they know they’ll earn a living wage and get the benefits they deserve in exchange for their dedicated services. Capitalism in action with a little mythology mixed in. What could possibly go wrong.
Now I know what people are going to say. They come over here, they take jobs away from hard working honest British people and they can’t even speak the language. Let them talk. They’re hardly going to argue face to face with a dragon are they? Not when there’s the chance they’ll be taught the real meaning of a lot of hot air. If they’re not careful they could get positively blasted with the stuff.