Send in SAS to Get Married

So many folk these days are altogether far too serious. You tell a serviceman he’s special and he gets ideas above his station (or possibly just at the right level, I probably don’t have the most fulsome picture of the situation but ill-informed guesswork has always been a commonly used tool for me). They could do with a little more fun and romance and magic or whatever.

Airlift them all into Vegas and see how they get on. Set up an elaborate and highly specialised form of internet dating. I’m not talking about getting people laid here, soldiers can do that on their own time (and I’m relatively certain that anyone who turns to me for help with getting it on is in serious trouble. And I do mean an incredibly dire situation. I mean come on, I’m a stranger on the internet). They should get things in their lives sorted. Because marriage makes everything so much simpler, lovelier and easier. Or so I might have heard once. A while ago.

Maybe they’re already married. Perhaps what has gone before has absolutely nothing to  do with the story in question. It could well be more that there are some dangerous weddings happening where grooms (and indeed brides. There are ladies in the special air services, right? Maybe men can get the job done anyway) hardly fear to tread. Or skittish men are scampering away from the altar.

When events such as these occur there is but one solution (well, odds are there’s far more than just the one but I have limited space – brain space that is – so we’ll be going with just the one for the time being). You have to send in a particular regiment of the army to ensure that the job gets done. Weddings are a highly sensitive business and stand ins are definitely not being used anything like enough.


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