Tycoons’ £20m Bid for Child Poverty

Before you start leaping to all manner of wrong winded conclusions, allow me to flag you down in your train of thought. And smash said mental locomotive into tiny smithereens. These tycoons may have more money stuffed down the back of their downstairs loo than the average family will earn in a lifetime but they are not, may I repeat not, tight fisted monsters of the Scrooge impersonator variety.

It’s merely a case of supply and demand. If the kids are rolling in ill gotten gains or even merely the basic funds to keep a standard existence ticking over then they’re going to grow up entitled. Then they won’t be grateful when the money men come around with handouts. They won’t worship at the feet of the kind folk who deign to toss them the old penny.

This is also a prime opportunity prove that the trickle down economy definitely probably sort of almost works. The only way to have a fair test for this hypothesis is to ensure that the people on top of the pyramid have an overwhelmingly huge amount of money and those at the bottom next to nothing at all.

Anyway, what do children really need spare cash for? All that entertainment nonsense big companies like Microsoft and Sony have cooked up is an absolute racket. In my day kids had a breeze block and a piece of string and I never heard any complaints. That might have more than a little to do with the fact that no one wanted to try my version of conkers.

Obviously there’s more to existence than playing games. Youngsters have to learn to be more self reliant. With foraging and the building of shelters, I see absolutely no reason why they can’t just live off the land. Yes, they might become completely feral and incapable of the complex maths required for when they become estate agents but at least they won’t have been a drain on the economy as they grow up.

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