Lives at Risk in ‘Poshness Test’

I really thought we were over this. In days gone by people fixated on class as a distinguishing factor because they clearly didn’t have better things to do with their time. Now we have the luxury of paying attention to traits such as aptitude and ability to determine whether or not someone is worthy of a job or to carry off the local nobleman’s daughter for a scandalous elopement.

But no, it still matters more than anything else who your father was and how many forks you grew up learning how to use. We’ve proved ourselves incapable of moving on from the old way of things (case in point, monarchy alive and well with everyone paying an inordinate amount of attention to a toddler waving at the filthy commoners from the safety of a balcony).

They’ve even started taking this prejudice to dangerous new heights. Under the guise of ‘ensuring there aren’t any imposters’ (where clearly the sentiment meant is ‘keeping the riff raff out’), a new test has been introduced. I think they’ve drawn more than a little inspiration from The Hunger Games franchise (something of a shining example of maintaining order in their eyes. The first one at least, from there is gets altogether far too revolutionary for their tastes).

With the classic brutality of the upper classes, the examination has a distinctly sink or swim flavour to it. Should you, by some miracle, manage to prove your worth then your place will be assured for generations to come and the world will tremble at your feet. If you fail the poshness test then your inevitable fate will be sealed. Obviously the messy death that follows is the natural conclusion for someone pushing their way into a position they patently don’t belong. It’s entirely up to you of course but social betterment is really very middle class and a dead giveaway. So tread very carefully indeed.

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