World’s First Birth from Pension Tax

Well, it’s hardly a subject that you can expect people to get especially hot and heavy over now is it? Then again, the news comes in that thousands of retired people will be getting screwed because of new legislation, it’s not a completely unheard of response to want to get in on that action. Probably. Some people do have incredibly niche fetishes.

It’s not really as if anyone’s origin story is all that important. In the world of the superhero franchise, it’s hard for the first instalment to be the most captivating as there’s all that setting up to struggle through. The baby isn’t exactly at fault because its parents were so bored during a discussion during parliamentary reform so went off to have discretely passionate sex in an overlooked corner.

Maybe the contentious couple thought that this tax was very likely to be the straw that broke the camel’s back? In that moment they saw the beginning of the end and recognised just how irresistible apocalypse sex was. I still think that the boredom theory is the most probable.

The worrying thing is, there’s a first time for everything. Now that this one’s been squirted out for this particular reason, what if they’ve opened a metaphorical floodgate? We could be inundated with infants whose moment of beginning can be traced back to various changes in the law.

Imagine the playgrounds full of Stamp Duty playing hopscotch with Hazardous Waste Regulations and Higher Education Act. Obviously the terror of the playing field would have to be EU Referendum. Conceived in a time of great uncertainty, before the cataclysm of devolution, they had what can only be described as a chaotic upbringing. Is it any wonder they have anger and plenty of it to take out on an unsuspecting population? Obviously there is a way to avoid the nightmare dystopia of this world but the British public doesn’t exactly have the best track record with democratic processes as of late.

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