Bank of England Gaffe Reveals CCTV Switch Off

The geniuses behind this one were all kinds of cheesed off when the whole Hatton Garden jewel robbery story hit the headlines. Who’s going to be impressed by the largest scale bank heist in modern history when this rather more spangly rival tale is still floating around? Not to mention the collective tightening of security that’s bound to follow such a daring epic.

It really was going to be incredible though. A plucky rag tag group of misfits had managed to infiltrate the most senior ranks of the banking industry. From there they had spent months planning the raid. The absolute last thing on their minds was to hurt anyone. The stolen goods would be taken from the massive vault where management’s yearly bonuses were stored.

Prevailing logic was that it would be too great an embarrassment to admit to the thievery. Obviously it would get out eventually because who could resist bragging about getting away with a thing like that? It would certainly show up corporate for the boobs they are. People would panic on a large scale, withdraw their money from said institutions, bring the pampered and indulged sector to its knees and cause its employees to set up little shops that sell nice homemade cards or vans that do sandwiches in order to feed the hungry workers who’ve managed to hang onto their employment.

But as with most instances of reality, as opposed to what goes down in with movies, something went awry. A mistake led to an increasingly heated round of the blame game which escalated to an inquiry. The carefully laid plans were completely derailed when someone noticed a fault in a panel of blinking lights. The discovered that the CCTV was off. This completely buggered up stage one of the complex initiative for nicking funds and that was that.


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