And Still the Bankers Pay to Be Seized

Evidently, there is such a thing as having too much money. When you combine this condition with boyhood fantasises and a midlife crisis mentality circumstances are bound to go awry. Those who have next to nothing to do bar exploiting those beneath them and counting their endless wads of cash (I may not be entirely up to speed regarding how the banking industry works) can all too easily find themselves slipping into boredom.

So how on earth are the poor little lambs to inject some rip roaring excitement into their day to day existences? They could pursue earthly goodness by giving back and spending some time doing charitable works. I mean, it’s a technical possibility. But that’s not quite what they were after. What about a shiny new car? It’s the ultimate status symbol that will in no way make people think you’re compensating for shrivelled genitals. However, it’s terribly cliché.

Where’s the danger? Where’s the excitement? What’s the point in being alive? Such existential dilemmas are really going some way to making their brains thoroughly achy. How are they supposed to get properly wild? It would look weird if they starting going to the clubs to get down with the kids. They’d probably end up on some sort of register if they tried. Crazy piercings and suggestive tattoos again wouldn’t work. You can’t really turn up to a client meeting and expect to do business if there’s a naked woman riding a flaming snake embellished across your face.

Clearly the only option open to them is staging a fake kidnapping. Getting someone to whisk them away and beat their face in if they don’t hand over all their worldly possessions and passcodes in a paper sack is the true way forward. Though it does require some very careful vetting. It is only supposed to be simulated after all.

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