Tony dove headfirst right back into the thorny tangled thicket of the political situation. Partially because there was a shiny pot of gold in it for him but also down to the fact that he was informed in no uncertain terms that he was the only person with the skills and experience in hand required to sort absolutely everything out.
So the noble former prime minister got down to work. He diligently planned and plotted, putting his little grey cells to the purpose they were designed for. Increasingly shady back alley deals were made during many a strategy session that went on long into the night. A lot of head scratching went on and at last a wonderful idea was hit upon.
Finally, a marriage contract was drawn up. Tony knew the individuals involved and was well aware of the fact that the proposed arrangement almost definitely wasn’t going to please everyone. However, being the incontestable political mastermind that he is, he had something up his sleeve for that.
It was going to be the most gloriously spectacular and sumptuously lavish holiday that the world had ever known. This tightly scheduled tour would show off the happy new couple so recently fastened together with the bonds of electoral matrimony. And there would be stacks of cake and champagne and other fantastic treats.
Obviously now that we’ve seen the results none of this is going to come to pass. The Scottish Nationalist were supposed to wed Labour but thanks to the electorate such a thing will never come to be. Now there is absolutely no question of a honeymoon. The real question is, which party is the jilted and disappointed lover? They’re the one who traditionally gets to mope their way through the prepaid holiday while confused people ask them where their brand new spouse is. Anyway, did you know that Ed’s packed a bag? Clearly he hasn’t got the edict yet.