I’ll Give Birth to Liberal Britain

Oh don’t get your knickers in a twist; this is not my impromptu pregnancy announcement. The real one will be much classier. Probably. It will all depend on whatever the format might be by then. And whether or not apes have become our overlords and massively curtailed our internet privileges.

Anyway, it’s clearly the case that anyone of the left wing persuasion is probably in for some bellyaching over the next half decade. We should probably have been more prepared for this eventuality. We ought to know that shy Tories are always going to play havoc with the polls. Everyone wants to appear righteous and invested in social justice and equality and all. However, when they get to the polls and start thinking about what a particular party will do for them personally. Hence the pre-election overestimation of Labour influence.

But the state of affairs left in the wake of the most recent election should not be our focus for today. It is, as ever, me (come on, who’s actually surprised?). Clearly it’s going to take quite some time for the liberals to bounce back. It’s also hardly as if Labour have a potential leader that anyone can get especially excited about. So give me a little bit of time and I’ll happily furnish them with one.

So any future children of mine reading this, please don’t worry. I haven’t yet decided which one of you will be one day running the country. Maybe I’ll allow for the natural leadership qualities of the eldest to take over. Or, as a younger sibling myself, I’ll nurture the youngest to have the compassion and charisma required for such an onerous mission. Of course if the Milibands have taught us anything, I really ought to only push the one of them into politics and come up with other vocations for the other ones.

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