Why You Must Vote for the Doctor

Never trust anyone who actually wants to be in power. I’m not saying they’re bad people (out loud) but the fact that this is what they’re after in life either means they’re seriously twisted or entirely misinformed regarding the trappings of authority. It’s those who hang back from the limelight who ought to be thrust into positions of influence. Only slightly because there’s great potential there for laughs.

The Doctor would be a simply fabulous politician. Even though he’s had various make overs and transformations over the years he’s remained a white male so his installation won’t unsettle too many of the current elite. He’s also excellent at repelling aliens which ought to keep UKIP supporters quiet and content (an event that I never thought I’d be stressing as something admirable but there you go. It’s a topsy turvy world after all).

Being obviously mad or strange or remotely weird is something that far too many people shy away from. Far too much stress is placed on being a man of the people. The people are insane, be like them. For some reason, eating a bacon sandwich like someone unfamiliar with the concept of edible nutrition counts against you in the grand scheme of things. He who must not be named (not Voldemort, the good one) wouldn’t be even a little fussed about such a thing.

He’s the best. How can any of the tawdry rabble of hopefuls think to stand against him? So when the time comes don’t bother going to the effort of ticking or crossing anything at all. Instead go for the unexpected. Scrawl Bad Wolf across your slip in the scariest looking letters you can manage. Doodle a weeping angel or a Dalek or even an especially badass Silurian. Then on Friday morning a little blue box will materialise on Downing Street steps and we’ll know that we’re in for an entertaining parliamentary term.

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