I know that the election hasn’t quite technically happened yet but I’m going to call it. Did anyone out there really think it would solve anything whatsoever? We’ll turn out to the polls in whatever force can actually bothered to do so (I don’t even have my polling card yet. My apathy towards the whole twisted system of proceedings shall not be silenced! Probably) and the fears that everyone has regarding the oncoming mess will be confirmed.
Nobody’s going to have any outright power. Another coalition shall be cobbled together out of crumbling manifestos, various levels of ambition and bits of string. UKIP will sadly win maybe two or so seats so at least no one will have to pay any attention to them when it comes to constructing a government but it will confirm my prejudices regarding various sad fragments of the electorate.
Nick Clegg will look like a disappointed teenager at the disco because absolutely nobody will ask him to dance. He’ll be forced to keep his spare brain and heart to himself (that is if he even manages to keep ahold of his seat – that plastic kiddie chair he insisted on shifting to the grown ups’ table) and maybe after five years of quiet he might begin to earn back a little goodwill and respect. Not that much though. No one will be agreeing with Nick for the foreseeable future.
The unknown factor (on indeed factors depending on how you want to think about the situation in question. I am not padding) is who’s going to be the belle of the ball, flirting for favours and trying to fill up his dance card? Am I really the only one who’s actually quite hopeful about a collaboration between Labour and the SNP with just a dash of green swirled in for good measure?