Labour Will Bring Back Abdication

Ah, music to my ears. I’m not saying it’s a vote winner or anything but it is at the very least a refreshing change of pace. Politicians with common sense. I know, who could have possibly seen it coming?

They’ll still be there as an amusing side show. What adventurous tourist wouldn’t be interested in landing on our verdant shores in the hopes of observing former royalty? It’s hardly as if the castles and trapping of monarchy are going to evaporate overnight. But we can finally claim to be a properly democratic nation as we’re at long last no longer clinging to hereditary supremacy.

Sorry, I promised myself (I didn’t but I do recognise that this sort of thing begins to get a bit preachy after I’ve wheeled it out eight or nine times. So I have to do something to make it appear as if I’m a tiny bit remorseful regarding my slightly sanctimonious scribblings) that I’d stop spouting my republican manifesto quite so often. Still, I’m on board.

But this was supposed to put people off voting for the reds. The intention was for the majority of us to freak the hell out. We’re well known for not being the biggest fans of change after all. Clinging to outmoded traditions that haven’t got the slightest bit of grounding in modern life is kind of sort of our wheelhouse. It’s something of our international call card.

What this really boils down to is pretty simple. There are people out there who want to influence your vote. Rather than making sure that they’re the best qualified person for the job of representing you it’s a lot easier to demonise their opposition. Frankly, it makes them appear that little bit more insecure about their position. Whatever, cast your ballot for whoever you want and sit back and watch the carnage. There aren’t exactly a great deal of more appealing options open to you.

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