Miliband SNP Pact to Reveal Diaries to Public

At this stage in the run up to such an uncertain general election, everyone involved is desperately searching for new angles to work. The media and their opponents are throwing anything they can at them in order to make them appear that little bit less human or weirder than previously believed (naming no names of any little brothers of course).

So Ed and Nicola got together during one of their regularly scheduled dinners they have as best friends for life. Don’t worry, there’s absolutely nothing romantic about it whatsoever. They simply get on really well and see no reason for politics to enter into it (although the idea of getting to work in coalition with one another is terribly exciting. They’d never admit it to the general public of course).

Over their coffee and after dinner mints, an absolutely fabulous idea simultaneously occurred to both of them (an impulse that had nothing whatsoever to do with the heroic amount of wine that had been consumed during the evening). What could be better (by which they obviously thought would translate into attracting more votes) than releasing their diaries to the public. It would essentially be a non-tragic buddy version of Romeo and Juliet.

Crossing boundaries, forbidden affections, surreptitious friendships. These are essential themes to any good soap opera (I imagine. I’m far too busy watching Game of Thrones and the like because I revel in my stereotypical nerd behaviours) so will definitely play well in an actual factual context.

We can only wait with bated breath to see what juicy titbits are revealed. Of course we’ll have to discount the crude diagrams of Ed’s brother and various types of sandwich. We can learn what the bigwigs in charge of the country are really like behind closed doors. Because no one else has gone to the trouble of publishing anything of that nature in times gone by.


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