Miliband’s £7.5bn Working For Queen Mum

You’re definitely in the wrong line of work. Unless you’re some manner of high flying international banking magnate or bank heisting rocket scientist (haven’t you seen the movies? They’re totally out there) then chances are you’re unlikely to be earning anything remotely in the vicinity of £7.5bn. I’m very definitely not trying to cast anything remotely resembling aspersions here, that’s an altogether ridiculously vast sum of money (peasants).

It’s not even as if Miliband was working his fingers to the bone every hour of every day for a lifetime for that ludicrous amount of cash to wing its way to him. He was only helping out on the odd weekend lifting things down from shelves and generally keeping the old girl company. She simply never quite got the hang of the new fangled currency. It’s like when you used to pop over to Italy and splash out a million or two lira without batting an eyelid. Probably, I was too young for such things.

But Miliband really ought to have said something. It’s one thing for a generous pensioner to overtip by a fiver or two. That’s a trickle down economy or something along those lines. However, when four or five zeroes get added on to your payslip you have to get the feeling that one or two of the several hundred things going down might not be entirely kosher.

Whatever, clearly these funds allowed Ed to bribe his way to power. You would think he might have gone for charitable giving instead and end up hailed as the bestest guy who ever lived but some people just have to live for the limelight and showing up their brothers in a public setting. However, influence doesn’t quite have the hold it used to and Miliband is rapidly running out of money to grease the wheels with. Please do give generously (stacks of notes in plain paper bags obviously preferred).

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