Middle East Tensions Escalate to Stop PM ‘Squatting’ in Number 10

For those of you out there who believe the oncoming onslaught of election season doesn’t truly matter, you’re dead wrong. Whatever goes down come May will have the utmost impact on modern life as we know it. If you were planning to let the whole spectacle to pass you by, to not bother with it in the slightest merely because you live in a horribly secure constituency and you swing the other way, don’t.

It turns out that the whole debacle of a shemozzle and hullabaloo transpiring out there in the Middle East is actually due to us and the state of our leadership. They had a thought that the simplest solution to the thorny thicket of issues was to kick off a bit and distract everyone from the relentless campaigning. It hasn’t really gone entirely to plan of course but if there’s one thing those guys are good at it’s sticking to their increasingly large guns.

It’s sweet of them to take an interest if you don’t think about it too hard. They’re worried that the sense of entitlement might have gone to David’s head. He wasn’t properly voted in last time after all and he might have convinced himself that the popular vote is no longer necessary in order to clutch the reins of power ever so tightly to one’s chest. He might board up the windows of the parliamentary domicile and refuse to come out until everyone agrees that he’s the boss.

So it would seem that there will be absolutely no peace in the Middle East (Tony will be ever so disappointed, he’s tried so very hard in that particular quarter) until we pull our democratic socks up. Put that in your pipe and smoke it in the full knowledge that if you cross the wrong box the blame for World War Three will sit squarely on your shoulders.


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