Death Threat to Win Back Disgruntled Tories

There’s nothing like fearing for your life to motivate you to make the right choice come polling day in the eyes of certain governmental bodies. There are those who spout the tireless arguments that it interferes with free will and the very definition of democracy. However, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s a lot easier to get around with the running of the country when you know that the results of that pesky upcoming election are in the bag.

I know I’ve told you before that David’s come up with this scheme or another for coming out on top come May but this time he really absolutely means it. Honest. When it comes to nefarious tricks for hoodwinking and wrangling this is quite certainly a doozy. It won’t be forever though. Once you’ve provided concrete evidence that you cast your vote for whichever boy in blue that was forecast you can get on with your admittedly now rather more huddled and shaky existence.

At this point I’m not sure whether or not I’ve managed to confuse things. Allow me to clarify, our current PM has a database that he’s going to start putting to more effective use. It lists people who have been identified, one way or another (generally through the utilisation of data mining software and that), as wavering in their allegiance to the Party. Such fickle individuals will be getting a very special note through the post that I think they’ll find will change their minds.

Whether or not they decide to take the insinuation that they’ll meet a terribly sticky end if they cast their vote wrongly is up to them. I think that what will really get to them is that the people in charge cared enough about staying in power that they made the threats at all. I mean, you can tell that your vote truly matters to them if they’re prepared to kill you to get it.

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