Chancellor to Scrap a Ford Focus

Forget about the budget; nobody really pays any attention to it and the whole thing will be irrelevant in a few months anyway. The real news of the day is what’s got little Georgie Osborne so very excited. If you go down to the scrap yard today you’re in for a big surprise. Our fearless Chancellor of the Exchequer is manfully strapping on a safety helmet, outsized (and frankly unnecessary, although no one’s actually told him) plastic goggle and donning a suitably lurid Hi Vis vest. And he’s going car crushing.

Maybe it’s something to do with the wake caused by the Top Gear fracas we don’t want to waste much more mind space on (it does get a little worrying when people are so ready to justify steak related violence – yes, steak is wonderful and it not being hot is something of a travesty but we are supposed to be talking about grown-ups here who definitely ought to have some other tools at their disposal for expressing displeasure over matters of such relatively little import. Oh dear, I talked about it some more, I’m suddenly very disappointed in myself). Perhaps Mr Osborne wants to reveal a side of himself to the general electorate that’s a shade or two more butch than the current perception of him.

Whatever his motives are, what we know for sure is that George Osborne is going to scrap a Ford Focus. He could well be using the activity as an opportunity to vent some of his festering frustrations or simply going after it as a chance to have a crack at something he’s always wanted to do. Obviously there’s going to be something of a high octane photo op that will no doubt be funnelled into the unstoppable machine that is the election campaign in the vain hope that it might win them another solitary vote or two.

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