Pensions Department Braced For Murder

We all know all too well that people are simply living for far too long. Look at the situation currently going down in China thanks to their one child policy. You’ve got one poor little grandchild having to eventually support hoards of aging relatives all on their own. Even in this country, we’ve got serious problems. Just because they’ve spent their working lives slaving away like dogs, people have certain expectations regarding their retirement. They think that they deserve to have money magically deposit itself in their accounts so that they can while away their days doing absolutely nothing of any significance whatsoever. Yes, I know we’re all pretty jealous.

The pensions department are very much aware that things really can’t continue down this destructive path because the cash is quite nearly on the brink of running out entirely. They’ve got some grim and depressing decisions to make in the especially imminent future. What on earth would you possibly feel able to do in the same situation? You’ve done the sums and it’s startlingly clear that the funds will run dry in an extremely short amount of time. Could you cut the pensions of the top dog fat cats who happen to be funding the guys in charge of running the country at the moment? No, that obviously won’t do. You’ll get in all sorts of trouble.

Don’t think of it as murder. Think of it as changing the circumstances so as to maximise the efficacy of the distribution of the resources you have at hand. Or something along those lines so that it all sounds a lot less like some variety of cull. Obviously they don’t want to do it and they’ll take no pleasure in it (the ninja costumes and sound effects they’ll be making will in no way make it rather more like the most boss video game ever) but most of us will be able to reap the benefits when the time comes for us to give up work.

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