No Parking Fine If You Say No to SNP

Even I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here. Either the current bigwigs in Westminster are more afraid than we thought of certain future events transpiring in May and they’re coming up with incredibly specific ways of discouraging voters or the Scottish Nationals have been overthrown by a bloodthirsty cabal of traffic wardens. There could as usual be a third option that I’ve somehow managed not to consider as of yet but how likely is that when you really think about it?

I secretly like to think that the Tories have embraced a little bit of outside the box thinking. It may not strictly be legal but it beats most of the initial reactions to first spying that evil looking scrap of yellow and black accusingly affixed to your windscreen. Rather than have to resort to murder or something quite so unseemly, all you need do to stick it to the metaphorical man is to sign a little slip of paper renouncing your right to cast your vote for the SNP. I’m sure you’re perfectly right at this point to wonder why it is that the Scots have been targeted in this fashion. I didn’t think that parking violations were a particularly hot topic north of the border.

But wait, there’s more (there had to be really, otherwise this would have been a lame shot in the dark and the mark of a campaign strategist who’s really lost their marbles). If you vow not to vote for UKIP your current bar tabs will be excused (so run up one or five before deciding). Deny the Greens and that time you got drunk and naked in public will be forgotten entirely. And of course if you swear you won’t pop a pencil cross by any Labour candidates you’ll get an actual and not remotely made up speedboat. I know, it’s just mad enough to work.

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